Active listening for agile, productive, and empathic leadership | Reejig

As EY’s Richard Jeanneret puts it, “empathy to me is the single biggest leadership skill needed today — and the secret to developing it is active listening.” 

Today we'll be centering our takeaways on active listening, but first, it's important to outline the case for empathy, and just how right Richard is.

Why is empathy so important? 

Empathy is a crucial leadership skill that impacts retention, turnover, engagement, productivity, and performance. Over time, we intend to demystify empathy and outline why it's a skill that can be developed, rather than an innate trait that someone is born with.

As psychologist and empathy researcher Jamil Zaki from Stanford’s Social Neuroscience Lab says, “empathy is a skill that improves with practice". This is where active listening becomes an important factor as to whether another person perceives us as empathetic — a skill that we can and should practice continuously. Because in the end, empathy is in the eye of the beholder.

Rather than considering it as a ‘feeling’, consider it a practice (or collection of interconnected skills) to be cultivated. Irrespective of how deeply we really do empathize with someone from a ‘feelings’ perspective, it is important that we signal this to the person we’re talking with in ways that feel authentic and genuine to them, not just to us. Active listening is a skill that opens up our own capacity to learn about another person’s experience, as well as creating a space where the person is more likely to feel seen, heard, and appreciated — and in turn, respected and valued.

In return for showing active empathy, we can expect trust, productivity, loyalty, and a far greater understanding of the inner workings of our business.

What is empathic leadership?

Empathic leadership is a practice whereby employees feel seen, heard, appreciated — and in turn respected and valued — by a leader.

Empathic leadership positively impacts long-term value creation, by boosting productivity and innovation, significantly improving team morale and employee engagement; and fundamentally, building reciprocal trust with employees. A recent report from EY found that 87% of workers feel that mutual empathy with leaders substantially increases their efficiency, and the same number found that it boosts their creativity, which — alongside trust and the freedom to fail — is a major contributor to innovation.

Further, 81% feel that empathy increases company revenue. When considering diversity and retention, 57% of white women and 62% of women of color reported being unlikely to think of leaving their companies when they “felt their life circumstances were respected and valued by their companies”. This contrasted dramatically with women who did not feel this value and respect, where just 14% of white women and 30% of women of color reported not being likely to consider leaving. 

87% of works feel that mutual empathy with leaders substantially increases their efficient, boosts their creativity, and is a major contribution to innovation.

EY, Empathetic Leadership & The Great Resignation, 2022

Empathic leadership may also have a protective effect on employees navigating the demands of work and life without experiencing burnout. The same EY report found that 86% of people who felt their leaders were more empathetic could juggle personal, family, and work obligations, compared with 60% of people who perceived less empathy. The perception of empathy matters.

What role does active listening play in leadership?

Active listening is an important ingredient of providing someone the nonjudgemental space and attention they need to articulate their past experiences, current needs, and future aspirations (for the organization and for their career).  

Active listening is a skill you need to (and can) cultivate towards empathic leadership if you value organizational performance, team productivity, and individual engagement and well-being. And for the Type A leader concerned about this process slowing you down; speed is only a good thing if you’re all heading in the right direction. Active listening can help with that.

A principle outlined in the Agile Manifesto is for a team to reflect at regular intervals on how to become more effective, with behavior then tuned and adjusted accordingly. There is the principle of simplicity, too; defined as “the art of maximizing the amount of work not done”. Inherent in such principles is the importance — at the right time and for the right reason — of going slow in order to go fast.

Active listening takes an amount of intentional commitment to slowing down for a moment and genuinely bringing your attention to the present moment with and for another person.

What are the benefits of active listening?

The most important payoff is the flow-on benefits of leaving an employee feeling seen, heard, and appreciated in ways that are not facilitated without the space created through active listening. But the payoff for the business will be twofold.

First, you open space for a productive conversation on the lay of the land, the efficacy of product direction, operational constraints, or customer service for instance. And second, you are more likely to cultivate loyal, productive employees who in turn make space not only for you but for their team and their colleagues. Active listening begets active listening.

The Agile Manifesto also values ‘individuals and interactions’, over processes and tools; and ‘responding to change’ over following a plan. As leaders, it's so vital we genuinely open up space to listen to the input of others, including making room for our own discomfort where necessary, without fear of retribution towards someone, such that we can learn from what they have learned.

Does it mean we always follow what is being suggested to us? No. But can it bring more depth to our decision-making around our key considerations? Absolutely.

As the Brainwells Co-Founders put it, “when we start to move too fast, we often do not see what we need to see.” Oftentimes, not seeing what we need to see is born of failing to make time for active listening in favor of simply doing. That is, we’re prioritizing processes and following an existing plan over interactions and responding to change — including responding in the face of new information. 

What isn't active listening?

• Active listening is not nodding and appearing to listen, but really just waiting for your turn to interrupt. Some people have subtle tells for this. For instance; nodding faster, moving their eyes more, or opening their mouth slightly and perhaps inhaling. These are all signals to the other person saying, "I've stopped listening and I've got something to say so could you hurry up your bit so I can talk?!".
• Judging what the other person is saying, or problem-solving and again getting into either product or unproductive thinking of your own.
• Listening with an objective or goal in mind, and trying to corral the outcome of the conversion in a specific direction.
• Prioritizing your ideas and reflections about those of the other person. E.g. Suddenly what the other person says speaks an idea in you. Allow it to be there, but don't do anything with it. If you absolutely must, jot it down in a couple of words, then return your attention to the other person. 

At the end of the day, your mission in the moment of active listening is to “attempt to demonstrate unconditional acceptance and unbiased reflection”. Harry Weger breaks active listening down into three stages, which can be implemented in all sorts of interactions, for instance during mediation or medical consultations, between colleagues, spouses, seller and buyer, therapist and client. 

How to cultivate active listening as a leader

Show you're listening, using verbal and nonverbal cues

• Verbal might include "mmhmm" and "that's interesting".
• Nonverbal might include nodding in agreement, intentionally reacting to emotional content such as though smiling or occasionally looking concerned if that's appropriate, and through eye contact (or looking just above or between the eyes). 
• With nonverbal cues, don't forget to reflect on your "tells" of 'turn-taking' such as speeding up your nodding to indicate you want to talk now. Unless there's a compelling reason such as the meeting time is coming to a close, intentional work against using these nonverbal cues that say "wrap it up".

Encourage sharing

• Ask open “what/how” type questions; "How did you...", "What are your thoughts on...", or "Can you tell me more about…".
• Use reflective listening. Without reinterpreting what the speaker has shared, reflect back to them what you’ve heard. Avoid trying to “say it better”. This isn’t about ‘getting it right’ this is about ensuring you’re understanding them correctly, and they perceive that and/or have an opportunity to clarify anything.
• Think about the emotion and the pace they’ve been using in how they’ve spoken to you, and do your best to match that feeling and cadence; with the exception of matching with anger. Anger typically is a ‘secondary emotion’ and whilst engaging in active listening, your job is to infer what primary emotion sits behind the anger, and respond to that. Typically, this is likely to be one of upset, sadness, shame, or disappointment - so the appropriate emotion matching on your part would be one of concern and making space for them to defuse.
• When someone is sharing and becomes upset or frustrated, and you disagree or don’t think they are justified, one of the most delicate and effective balances to achieve here is to validate their feelings without conveying that you agree with them. This is a separate skill that will be delved into elsewhere.

Intentionally and genuinely strive to understand

• Be present. Everyone can cultivate the capacity to be present for these interactions. Use a mindfulness app, or practice attention training, in order to get better at guiding your attention back to where you intend it to be. Your mind will invariably wander off; cultivating the ability to guide your attention back to where you need it, whilst acknowledging that other thoughts are there, is a skill.
• Neuroimaging research has enabled us to learn that brain regions can and do grow as a function of use, thanks to the brain’s considerable neuroplasticity. This is your friend! You don’t need to be ‘good’ at mindfulness practice; the practice of guiding your attention back to where you intend it to be can be considered a ‘rep’; your capacity to guide your attention back will get stronger with repetition.
• Suspend judgment. You're seeking to understand the other person’s point of view and from their vantage point, not yours. Your frame of reference, background, and values will impact on how you perceive what another person is saying. When leaders themselves feel under threat, they're more likely to perceive the inherent threats in what the other person is saying (for instance “they’re going to leave; I need to stop them leaving” or “this person doesn’t get it.../ is undermining…).
• Notice any threat-based assumptions or interpretations that are coming up, allow them to be there, but don’t follow them along - just guide your attention back to the person — perhaps with a brief mantra that reminds you of your objective; “I seek understanding”.

Following up an active listening session

Ensure that you set a time limit around the amount of time you’re putting towards active listening and articulate that beforehand. It's also equally important to articulate what action you'll be doing after the active listening. Think through;

• What are the desired outcomes? And what are the next steps to take to get there?
• Ensure that you don’t over-promise; Overpromising can undermine trust. If you're a leader who is developing a reputation for not following through with what you say you are going to do; stop. Promise less. Far less if necessary. Get real with what you can manage. Promising out of the goodness of your heart and failing to deliver undermines confidence and trust, and mirrors the wrong behavior to your reports.
• Book a follow-up check-in and stick to it. Prioritize the check-in. There will always be urgent matters, but follow-ups with employees that they've been promised is an important component of long-term value creation.